I've seen some crazy shit in my time -- a one-armed/no-legged juggler in San Diego, midget bowling, people who enjoy children -- but nothing prepared me for the sheer lunacy that is the Washington, DC, apartment rental market. I thought I lived in an expensive city, but after a weekend spent looking at places in DC, well, I stand corrected. There is simply no accounting for the preposterous levels of cash people are (apparently) plunking down to rent a place in our nation's crapital. To my mind, there are two factors which inform the value of one's living quarters: location and the quality of the housing itself. In DC, you get neither, and you get neither for an incredible amount of money.
For example: I looked at a god-forsaken basement hovel wherein I not only had to choke back vomit while perusing the bathroom, but in which my lanky 5' 9" (in shoes) frame was unable to stand fully upright. I've often wondered what it would feel like to be tall, and thanks to this craphole, now I know. Oh, and you also had to walk down an ally right out of South Central to get to the place. And the detestable sound of rampaging children could be heard from the apartment upstairs. And I'm pretty sure the landlord was sitting outside sharpening a knife when we arrived. And the kitchenette was apparently lifted wholesale from a 1970s-era mobile home.
The price? $350 more per month than I pay for a very nice apartment in Manhattan. No shit.
And this isn't an anomaly. Even when places weren't horrible, even when they were sort of comparable, I just couldn't see paying more to live in DC than I'm paying in NYC. It's like the entire District has lost it's mind. And I'm left to wonder, why would anyone choose to live there? The big plus of cities like Philly, DC, Providence, etc is that they are affordable. If the market's actually worse, why not just live in NYC? Seriously, I need answers. It's totally mind-boggling.
Location is the real killer, though. When you find a nice place in DC, odds are it's in the middle of nowhere. Or maybe there's a bus nearby or something. Or maybe it's "near stuff" in DC terms, which means stuff is in striking distance if you're in pretty good physical shape, have a car, or don't mind walking through the ghetto to get there. It's not like you step out your door and are surrounded by stuff. You're surrounded by other houses. Like the burbs.
So, if it's not location, and if you're not getting more for your money (aside from a single place, all were below average at best), what's going on? How are these prices possible?
But somehow we miraculously found a great place. Not sure how, but it happened. Still, I'd like to go back and punch that hovel-renting slumlord in the face.
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3 comments:
this is the big mystery of DC: the housing is expensive and crappy and it's a dangerous city, to boot! I don't understand, except that maybe lots of people have to be there and thus can be charged exorbitant prices. It's the crime levels that get me though -- it's insult to injury that you have to pay so much to live in a dangerous city.
The Metro's nice though, eh? So womb-like. Soothing noises, soothing lights. It's civilized down there. I always feel like while on the NY subway that I could be killed at any time and no one would pause.
Tell me about it! I think it's the glut of interns who are willing to live in total depravity that bring down the DC market. That and everything used to be a ghetto 10 years ago. Also the insane amount of money lawyers are paid and in turn are willing to shell out for anything decent really screw the whole thing up.
There are lots of trees here though. Think big rides and book reading. Say farewell to night life and shopping. Welcome!
uh oh. i never thought i'd live in a city where "trees" are the biggest thing going. what the hell am i doing?
as for the NY subway late at night, at least it's still running. The Metro's only clean cause they shut it down for 6 hours per day to clean it. I'd rather it were gross.
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