DC or Not DC

This has been the question for the past several months. Five and a half years into a long-distance relationship, one of us has to give in. Somehow, that one of us is me. Huh. I honestly never thought I'd lose that argument. I mean, I've got NYC on my side. But, alas, two more weeks and I'm out of here. The whole decision making process sort of happened in a blur, to the point that I'm not even sure there was a process at all. Yet I kind of think there will be some serious advantages to this move. And so, in the spirit of rationalization, I give you the Why I Think This Is A Good Idea list:

[Note: most people I talk to assume that the biggest benefit will be seeing my girlfriend all the time, as opposed to two weekends a month. Not so. If she moved here, I'd see her all the time, too. So that's a wash.]

1. The undeniable dream of working from home, in an actual home office: I am quite possibly the laziest person alive. Unfortunately, my parents neglected to set up a trust fund, and so I am forced to schlep off to work every day, where I am surrounded by idiots, some of whom actually seem interested in the business at hand. There is nothing worse than being in an office. Likewise for being on a schedule. Why can't I go see a movie in the middle of the day whenever the hell I feel like it? Why do I have to sit here till 6 (a completely arbitrary time) whether or not I'm busy? Uh, I don't know. But that shit is over. I've always wanted a home office. I've always wanted to live on my own schedule, on my own terms. Could I pull this off in NYC? Possibly, but there certainly wouldn't be a home office. I mean an actual, honest-to-goodness room (with door!) dedicated to my work and writing and filmmaking and Netflix queue building. I couldn't be more excited about this.

1a. Working from anywhere: The real beauty of telecommuting is the ability to shed geography. Maybe I feel like going to LA for a month. Maybe I just wanna head up to the Jersey Shore and visit the folks (and watch the Phillies stumble about). Maybe I wanna swing up to NYC for a few days. As long as I can get online, I can dash off my copywriting work and get paid. It's beautiful.

2. Lack of schedule = creativity: Of course, my laziness might totally squash this, but in theory, since I'll be working 3 days a week on average, I should have more time to write and pursue other creative interests, all of which have pretty much fallen under the bus since I went back to work. That documentary I've been wanting to shoot but couldn't find the time? Well, now I've got time.

3. Outdoor space: the holy grail of NYC living pretty much grows on trees down in DC (pun intended). As (both) avid readers of this blog know, my week in Maine was something of a revelation. I love the outdoors. Or, at least I love going outdoors for a few minutes to drink my coffee. It's not like I wanna sleep out there or anything. But damn, you should see our outdoor space. It's phenomenal! Manicured to within an inch of its life by the current stylish gay tenants. I'm sure I'll kill everything in about a week, but this place is like a damn botanical garden or something. I might need to buy some koi or some shit.

4. I am obsessed with food. Obviously, DC's culinary scene is, well, totally nonexistent. But the girlfriend has cobbled together a semi-obsessive circle of foodies who convene every 2 weeks for elaborate home cooked feasts. And guess who gets to just waltz into this scene? Yup, me. I'm gonna eat and drink wine like a maniac. This is the sort of thing I used to do in NYC until all my friend either had kids and moved to the burbs or moved to LA like normal people. Ah, dinner.

5. Never having to think about fashion, hairstyle, or physical fitness ever again: Have you seen the people down there? It's like you just woke up in a NJ strip mall circa 1992.

6. Paying off debt: As long as I stay in NYC, my credit card debt ain't going anywhere. And as long as my credit card debt ain't going anywhere, I better just keeping dreaming about my gigantic flat screen TV and super stylish Vespa motor scooter. But a year in DC will put a giant dent in this debt, which I'll celebrate by immediately charging the above mentioned major purchases. Ah, progress.

7. The ability to (mildly) impress people at cocktail parties: Saying you're a writer in NYC is pretty much like saying you're a garbageman, albeit a much worse paid one. Odds are, there's an actually successful writer at the same party. Or if not, everyone there is a "writer" of some sort. In DC, if you say anything other than "lawyer" people light up like you just got back from a moon landing. It reminds me of Boston.

8. Watching the Phillies win: As I'll be relegated to the lowly Orioles/Nationals baseball viewing options, at least I'll take heart in observing the Phils beat up on inferior competition, as opposed to being trifled with by the detestable Mets. Then again, Nats/Orioles? This is gonna be rough.

9. Never stepping foot on Amtrak: the worst thing about long-distance dating, by far, is all the time spent on Amtrak. There's nothing quite like washing down an abysmal workweek with 4 hours of torturous rail travel. I've seen Penn Station's Arrivals/Departures board in my nightmares.

I just ran out of coffee, so that's that. Would my list of Reasons Not To Move To DC be a gazillion times longer? Yeah, yeah. But let's not think about that. It's Friday and the NY sun is shining...