It's been twelve days since I ordered my exorbitantly expensive Macbook, or Powerbook, or whatever it's called. Twelve days and the thing hasn't even shipped yet! I hope this isn't a metaphor for how slow the actual computer will be (actually, given its price tag, I'd better be able to travel at the speed of light with this thing). It occurred to me during this interminably long wait that ordering a Mac is pretty much exactly like ordering a mail-order bride. But I mean ordering a mail-order bride around the turn of last century (107 years ago, not 7), back when your bride had to schlep over to America on some sort of tramp steamer and get caught up at like Ellis Island or something and then have to lug her gigantic steamer trunk out to the middle of the US via some rinky dink railroad. And there weren't phones or faxes or emails or FedEx, so I guess you just sort of had to wait until the mail-order bride plopped down on your doorstep, however long it took. Then once she was there, you could only keep your fingers crossed that she spoke English, was reasonably attractive (and fertile, this being a century ago, when people still enjoyed children), and didn't give you too much Eastern European socialist backtalk. Yup, that's me and my Mac.
Everyone I mention this ridiculous scenario to responds by asking, "Why didn't you just go to the Mac store?" Uh, for the same reason I don't attend Star Trek conventions. Cause I don't want to be in the same room with several hundred feverish Mac devotees drooling over phones and other slightly intriguing consumer items. It's creepy up in the Mac store. Seriously, I wouldn't look twice if Jim Jones started working at the Genius Bar (or whatever the hell it's called). If any of my readers happen to be scouting locations for the next Romero-esque zombie thriller/social satire, check out your local Mac store.
In the meantime, I wait. One day, perhaps, a computer will actually arrive. Hopefully I'll still be young enough to remember how to use it.
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3 comments:
aw, mac geeks aren't scary. they're harmless, really. If I lived in NYC I would have helped you brave the mac store. apparently the one in Soho is less scary than the big one in midtown.
i'm still trying to pretend i'm not a Mac guy. going to the Mac store felt like too much...though I have gone there to buy speakers before. oh well.
seriously, though. 12 days and counting! seems a bit much.
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